You See Us Rollin'

     I'm here to announce that Zach and I have officially moved into the van and I am so fucking stoked about it.  My brother and I built a bed frame around the wheels so that we could fit our mattress inside and have storage underneath the bed also.  Before we moved out of the Subaru every day I felt weighed down by having so many things in the car.  Now that we are in the van I feel like we have hardly any possessions.  There's so much room for activities!  We are still saving up for that short bus (it's the only one they'll let me ride in) so it's kind of the only logical next step for us.

ANYWHO I have pictures of this bed that we built!

Hasta La Vista,

ButtPunch

Update: 2 Months

We are coming up on out two month mark here in Subaru Legacy luxury land, so far so good.  We will be upgrading to a van soon with the hopes of buying a short bus by mid summer. 

I never thought I would be so stoked to live in a van.  I keep having visions of enough head space to sit up and read at night, enough leg room to stretch out, enough spots for my clothes to shove into.  Right now it seems like the little things are everything. 

    Having an extra car will be nice since I'm currently working two jobs and Zach has his gig all in separate locations.  Coordinating schedules can get tricky.  Showers have been easy to come by thanks to all our amazing friends and family, alongside the totally tubular facilities that a local yoga studio can supply (two birds with one stone there, exercise, and cleanliness?  Check!).  Hopefully I'll get to a real computer where I can upload many photos to dazzle you with but for now I have to sleep, gotta work bright and early.  Duty calls.

Happy rubber tramp trails,

ButtPunch Oprah

For Real

“Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive.”
Ernest Hemingway 

Laisser tel quel.

Laisser tel quel.  Laisser tel quel is French for "Leave it be".  Why this phrase?  Allow me to elaborate.

I had given some serious thought to erasing everything that had ever been written on here and starting over as a new human being on the blog-sphere.  While yes it is true, I gave my little corner of the internet a new look, a new title, and I'll admit it does have more of an overall sense of foreboding.  However, I decided to leave all the things I wrote before for basically two reasons.

1. It shows who I used to be.
2.  Story-telling is very important.

It is important that you know who I used to be because who I am now doesn't make sense without that view into the fake happiness that I portrayed here.  Looking happy is a skill, it is a skill that I acquired over many years of oppression, fear, guilt, and distrust.  It is a skill that I still implement at times, but I need a place to put all my satirical meanderings and outlandish ideas about life.  I also need people, certain people to see what certain schools of thought do to the human psyche.  I have been more than damaged by sexism, cults, courtship, rigid fundamentalism, and patriarchy, I have been broken.  Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change the experiences I have had for they have made me who I am today.  But, I know I never want to make anyone feel the way that so many others made me feel growing up and as an adult.

I am much happier now that I allow myself to feel unhappiness, instead of shoving it down.  Running is never the answer.  The question will always follow you.  So, no more fake happiness for me.  Love with a pinch of sarcasm, (ok a semi-truck full) is my chosen mode of transportation through this beautiful, terrible, sorrowful, and exciting wild human experience.

So, after 2 years, being shunned, getting out of a cult, many therapy sessions, 3 court cases, 7 changes of address, 5 piercings, a suicide attempt, a tattoo, dreaded hair, and two summers of self loathing and selfish self absorption I finally feel free.  I am by no means at the end of my journey, I haven't arrived.  What I believe is, and always will be changing and morphing based on my experiences but that is the beauty of life is it not?

So, for those reasons I shall leave my blog be.  I shall "Laisser tel quel".  Feel free to meander through its various posts, as embarrassing to me as most of them are.  It's important to my story.  It's important to your understanding of where I have come from.  It's important.

The allergy is real, and sarcasm - my reaction.

Let the games begin.

-Facepalm Queen

Courtship shmortship.

I'm sick of the courtship rabble.  I grew up with it, went through it.  I'm done with it.  This guys is spot on.  Read it.  Read it now. Patriarchy is flawed and hurts more people than it helps. The end.

http://www.thomasumstattd.com/2014/08/courtship-fundamentally-flawed/

I Heart Shades!

      Now, any of you that know me know how much I LOVE sunglasses, during the winter months I abandon my sunglasses (mostly because I have probably broken them by that time) for scarves, hats, and leggings, but since it is Spring once again I can very well expected to be seen trotting off to the store to purchase myself some swanky new shades!  This year was no exception, I decided to go with these stellar coronary wonders.  My sunglasses choices have always been...  controversial to say the least.  :)  This particular pair remind me of Jesus (YAY!), and they were on sale!!  Can't get much better than that can we??



Feelin' the Love,
Hannah

Kind: The Perfect Name for this Healthy Snack Bar!

 

       Just thought I'd take a minute to tell you about these, these deliciously wonderful snack bars are my favorite for a couple of reasons, they taste absolutely sinful (which in this case is a good thing!), they are filling, yet don't make you want to plead for mercy from an overload of sugar and carbs, and they are made with mostly healthy ingredients!  These are so good for on the go!  If you have a couple of children that need snacks in the middle of lunch and dinner like I did when I was a wee tot, but don't want to give them one of those snack bars that is entirely too inundated with sugar, high-fructose corn syrup, and all those other forms of junk out there, "Kind" is the way to go!

Happily Munching Away,
Hannah

All This and Heaven Too.

First off, I am going to start by saying...  I hath shorn my locks this past June (I know I fail miserabley at life I haven't posted since June), and yet again in October.  No pictures of the second shearing yet but hopefully some day you will be able to see it.  Some (or most) of you already know this.  But suffice it to say...  I miss my long hair.  Short was fun for a while, but I'm definitely ready for some long action.

 

This summer has been crazy, wild, bizzare, fun, sad, mind blowing...  Yes it has been all this and heaven too.  But, I am a cold weather creature.  So I have laid away summer with light heart looking forward to (the rest of) Fall and Winter with so much anticipation.   Much coffee will be had, and many more new friends will be made in the process. (The North West is inexplicably valuble for that sort of thing.) 

 

Virginia is such a lovely place, but I am aching to get back home to my beautiful, rainy, coffee shop riddled Washington.  With all of my friends and family waiting for me (that is if they still remember who I am).  At the same time, leaving this place does not come without it's own heart aches, I have met and befriended so many amazing people here, it's going to be hard to live without them once I go back to my life in Washington.

 

So much change in such a little time...  It's amazing, scary, and wonderfully awesome all at the same time.  Jesus is so great though, and He is in control.  It has been truly amazing to see Him direct my steps these past couple of months, and just draw me closer to Him.  Nothing like it.

 

And so, with that.  I will show you some of the awesomness that was had. 



 

 



The first shearing.  ;)

 

Josiah and I took a road trip to Idaho in June.  That was so terribly bizarre and amazing.  I will never forget it.  Much singing with street performers, broken down cars, talking to strangers, and riding in said strangers cars was had.  Plus topping things off with a Fathers day at Christ's Church in Moscow, and a beautiful drive home with the dad.  Since we broke the car and had to leave it there.  Oh how I will miss you lightning egg. 

 

 

 

 

And then I left my beautiful green Washington, for the swealteringly hot, humid, and absolutely marvolous Virginia.  I made many friends, took a rediculous amount of time at the ocean (one of the thrills of my soul), laughed like crazy, and learned to love Jesus more than I thought was possible.

 

 

I went Kayaking for the first time with my friend Samantha!  She was so amazing, and such an encouragement to me.  I don't know as if I have ever met anyone sweeter and more on fire for the Lord as her.  She actually just left for Uganda for 8 months on a missions trip, and I am so happy for her.

 

And she took me jet skiing also.  Which was SO much fun.  :)

 

Ahhhh, dear Andrea.  Truly a sister, we clicked almost instantly, let me tell you how amazing this woman is.  She is a wonderful mother, cans food like ther is no tomorrw, cooks, runs a marvelous blog (http://dotalanecdotes.blogspot.com/), is a professional reviewer for the San Francisco City Book Review, loves Jesus, is a loving wife, helps out at a nearby farm, eats locally and organically, plans on homeschooling, and her husband is in the navy.  If that isn't amazing I don't know what is.

 

We spent so much time together, mostly canning, cooking, talking, reading, swapping life stories and all that jazz.  She is such an amazing person.  I can't say enough about her.  I think we nearly agree on everything.

 

 

She also helped me cross something off my bucket list.  Which was watchingt the sunrise on the Atlantic ocean.  It was everything I could have hoped plus some.  Truly spectacular, couldn't have wished for anything better.

 

 



 

 

Had to get a picture of that accursed Obama campaign bus.

These girls...  Man these girls, I couldn't have asked for a better group of girls to go on a 4 day camping trip with.  They all love the Lord, and are just such a joy to be around.  After four days in the *cough*mountains*cough* we were a bit stinky.  But we were truly mountain women, and proud of our stinkiness.  It was so amazing, I came back ten pounds lighter than when I left and so dehydrated, I think my Aunt almost had a heart attack, when she found out that.  (She loves me, what can I say?) But felt so full of life, after four awesome days away from technology, showers, and yes even decent food. 

 

 

 

 

 

It pains me to say that I do not have any further pictures of my trip uploaded to the computer, and it's a shame because I wanted to upload a few more.  But better some than none right??? 

 

Anyway, thanks for reading!  I had such a blast getting to know my family over there better, they are truly amazing people and I love every single one of them.  I wish I could have posted some pictures of them on here, but alas, due to safety reasons, I am unable. Hopefully these ones suffice.  :)

 

Love,

Han